5 Reasons Not to Canoe, Love the River, or Have Fun

Hannah Anderson

Hannah Anderson

Drifting on top of calm, glassy water while listening to the sounds of nature is overrated. Being in a canoe and feeling the sense of awe and wonder while you gently paddle down a river will bring you too much peace and contentment that you probably won’t enjoy it.

If you aren’t fully convinced, here are five more reasons not to go canoeing.

1. You’ll see too much nature

One of the best parts about going to any national park or world wonder is the crowds. There’s nothing like a hundred pictures full of strangers on your phone to make a place truly memorable. Canoeing isn’t as popular as hiking or taking pictures, so you’ll be around fewer people and more nature. Depending on where you go canoeing, there will be some places where there are no people at all. You might even see a wild animal. That sort of uninterrupted nature won’t have the same memorable hold as your trip to Yellowstone where you had forty people holding selfie sticks in your picture of the Old Faithful geyser.  

2. Your muscles will get too toned

Canoeing tests your physical strength—just try paddling through rapids going upriver without having your arms and core muscles tingle with exertion. Canoeing is a delicate art of movements that will make your arms throb and will give you blisters on your hands. After only a few days of canoeing, those blisters turn to super-tough calluses and those sore arms turn into toned muscles. It’s not enough for canoeing to be a hobby or skill, it also has to be an intense, fun-filled workout. 

3. It will test your communication

Canoeing with a partner makes the activity almost unbearable. You’ll have hours together to admire the scenery—which means hours of small talk. Plus, in areas where there are rapids or obstacles, you’ll likely be yelling at each other to paddle this way or that. At the end of your canoeing experience, you’ll probably have a deeper and stronger connection to the person who was with you. Friendships and tight-knit bonds are a frustrating responsibility that you have to work to maintain. 

4. You’ll learn a new skill

Learning a new skill takes hours of dedication. With so many other things to do, like check Facebook, Instagram, and play games on your phone, do you really have the time to invest learning the ins and outs to a skill you could use for the rest of your life? When you’re in the bow or the stern with a paddle in your hands, wouldn’t you rather live in fear of tipping like most other people instead of having the grace and poise of a master? With the knowledge of so many other skills, your brain probably doesn’t have the capacity for one more. 

5. You’ll have too much fun

Canoeing is such a thrill that you should just stay home. You’ll probably enjoy it so much that you end up buying a canoe and taking it out whenever you get the chance. Instead of working, you’ll spend every spare second thinking about the next time you’ll go. You’ll end up doing research and planning trips to new places and more picturesque views you find. 

Oh, wait, was I supposed to be telling you the reasons you shouldn’t go canoeing? No way. Canoeing is a fun skill that will hopefully provide you with incredible experiences full of jaw-dropping views and pleasant conversation with your paddle-partner. So what are you waiting for? Grab a paddle and get canoeing.

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